I swear that I will not continue the windows-esque entitling of my blogs, but it just seems appropos for the now.
It's about 4:17 in the am, and I am still awake. Sunday night is poker night, and if I am still up at this hour, it usually means I lost big, and I am stuck replaying the evening and trying to figure out what went wrong. (I dare you to diagram that last sentence. I assure you that it is grammatically correct.)
This evening was not a total disaster. In fact, no disaster at all. I am down only 1 black chip, but I feel like I played better than that. My biggest problem with poker right now is accurately putting people on hands after the flop.
When I flop top pair, I bet regardless of position, unless my kicker sucks. (*Note: if you don't know poker terms, this blog may not be for you.) If I flop middle or bottom pair, and there is no action, and I am in late position, I bet.
I get called. A lot. Too often actually. I have been playing for a little over a year and a half. When I first started playing, like many fish, I bluffed. A lot. Too often actually.
So now, even though I have developed as a player, I still get called like I am bluffing. So often, I end up losing with top pair and top kicker on the flop when my opponents pair their kicker with lesser pairs or make trips.
And I lose. And it blows. I am at the point where I feel like I have to have the nuts in order to drag a pot. Sure, I take stabs at small pots in late postion when I have nothing, and I am happy to win those pots, but I simply cannot get people to fold hands that draw to the nuts when I flop the best hand and bet out.
I have tried to mix things up: I bet out bigger to ruin the pot odds, and I get called. All this does is make me lose more when they draw out on me. I bet out smaller, hoping that it looks like I am betting for value even on the flop, and I get called.
I know that I am supposed to be happy when I get called with the best hand. However, I am extremely frustrated when I get called and get sucked out on.
I have read a few poker books, and I continue to read poker and game theory. It has helped, but mostly it has helped me realize when to fold. I know. I know. You can win by folding because you aren't wasting money chasing hands that end up not hitting, but g-dammit, I would like to win but winning, too.
I play a lot online. However, I play a lot on facebook. Which is actually bullshit poker. Facebook/Zynga poker is free -- no real money. So, there is no real losing which means there is no real winning either. People call with nothing because it costs them nothing. Also, I have noticed that I hit more straights and flushes on facebook than I do in live poker. I think that the randomizer on FB poker actually rewards aggressive play. Since there is no money involved, does it matter if that is true? I supposed not, but it is all but useless to try to apply FB lessons learned to live poker.
I am a smart guy, I like math, and I like to compete. All of which should help in my desire to be a better poker player. Nevertheless, I feel like I have hit a poker wall. Maybe I need to read new poker books. Maybe I need to play with new players who don't know my game and whose game I don't know either. Maybe I should stop playing on FB because the $8 million in fake FB dollars I have accumulated make me think that I am a better player than I am.
Maybe, I just cannot get any better than I have gotten. There are several reasons why I refuse to believe that. The main reason is ego. Another, rational, reason is that with more experience, one usually improves at any endeavor. I know that I will probably get better as I continue to play, but I like the charge I get from winning. I need to find a way to get that charge more often.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Captain's Blog 1.0
So, welcome to blog 1, chapter 1, line 1.
Not the most exciting beginning, but at 1:00am on the night following Black Friday, don't expect much. More like Black Fried-day. I worked my regular 8 hour shift instead of extended hours, and I am still exhausted. Not in a hard day's work kind of exhausted. More of a long drawn out day kind of exhausted.
You have to understand that I work at a comic book store. Well, that's not quite the whole truth. I OWN a comic book store. I gotta tell you: I love saying that. It's one thing to work for yourself. It's another thing to work for yourself doing something that you love. And, I love comics. I love the art, the stories, and the history of the medium. The action, the parables, and the ideals.
I love the fact that I have never, e-e-e-ever not wanted to come into work at MY store. There have been slow days, long days, low sales days, but there has never been a day when I didn't want to be here. Even in the beginning, but to tell that story would require a separate blog unto itself. Suffice it to say that if you go into business with a partner, you have to know, FOR A FACT, that you can trust your partner. You have to be able to trust your partner with the assets. You have to be able to trust them to share your passion and work ethic. You have to be able to trust them to be a good and decent human being. If you can't trust them with all of that: open your own effin store by your own effin self . . . just don't use the name "effin" 'cause it's (c) and TM mine, dammit.
My store recently celebrated two milestones in the course of a few weeks:
-on 10/14/10, the store celebrated its 10th anniversary
-on 11/19/10, I had owned and run the store solo for 5 years, two weeks, and 19 days which is one day longer than the time I owned and ran it with a partner
10 years in business speaks for itself, especially in this economy. Owning and operating the store solo for more days was more special to me. My ex-partner predicted doom and gloom for me, and I cannot describe how happy it makes me to know that she has to choke on those words. I had to scratch and claw my way into developing the business into something stable if not something that makes me wealthy. Like Mal says, I'm still flying. No it ain't much, but it's enough.
I wanted to start a blog for several reasons:
1.) I like to write, and I haven't had an outlet to do so for too damn long, and I need to do something to sharpen whatever verbal skills I still have,
2.) I think it will help me organize my thoughts and goals for the store, the remodeling of my apartment, my weight, and my life overall,
and 3.) I have been inspired by the lady in my life. She has a few blogs, and I get I kick out of reading her thoughts and words.
She is an absolute blessing. For the first time in a long time, I am in a relationship that has contributed positively in my life. She doesn't take, she gives. She doesn't nag, she offers suggestions. Most of the time she just is. What I mean by that is that she is just herself. She shares herself with me, and that gift of her is exactly what I needed.
She makes me laugh. She makes me happy. She makes me feel like a man. She makes me feel like all of the bad things that I have been through in the last several years actually had a purpose: preparing me to appreciate a good woman like her. She is fun, funny, adorable, and sexy. She is a good mom, a good friend, and most importantly, she is a good person. I look forward to seeing her or texting with her or talking to her on the phone with the same kind of happiness and excitement that I get from the store.
In her blog, she calls me Effin Guy for obvious effin reasons. A friend of mine has dubbed her Sanity because that is one of the gifts that she has brought to my life. However, in this blog, I will call her Awesome . . . for obvious effin reasons.
So, welcome to the first step in journey of my thoughts. You will hear much about the store because it dominates my time. You will hear much about Awesome, 'cause ya know. You will hear some complaints as well. I bitch. A lot. Not for the sake of bitching, but because I cannot stand to see something that doesn't work not get fixed.
Triple negative. Great way to end it!
Not the most exciting beginning, but at 1:00am on the night following Black Friday, don't expect much. More like Black Fried-day. I worked my regular 8 hour shift instead of extended hours, and I am still exhausted. Not in a hard day's work kind of exhausted. More of a long drawn out day kind of exhausted.
You have to understand that I work at a comic book store. Well, that's not quite the whole truth. I OWN a comic book store. I gotta tell you: I love saying that. It's one thing to work for yourself. It's another thing to work for yourself doing something that you love. And, I love comics. I love the art, the stories, and the history of the medium. The action, the parables, and the ideals.
I love the fact that I have never, e-e-e-ever not wanted to come into work at MY store. There have been slow days, long days, low sales days, but there has never been a day when I didn't want to be here. Even in the beginning, but to tell that story would require a separate blog unto itself. Suffice it to say that if you go into business with a partner, you have to know, FOR A FACT, that you can trust your partner. You have to be able to trust your partner with the assets. You have to be able to trust them to share your passion and work ethic. You have to be able to trust them to be a good and decent human being. If you can't trust them with all of that: open your own effin store by your own effin self . . . just don't use the name "effin" 'cause it's (c) and TM mine, dammit.
My store recently celebrated two milestones in the course of a few weeks:
-on 10/14/10, the store celebrated its 10th anniversary
-on 11/19/10, I had owned and run the store solo for 5 years, two weeks, and 19 days which is one day longer than the time I owned and ran it with a partner
10 years in business speaks for itself, especially in this economy. Owning and operating the store solo for more days was more special to me. My ex-partner predicted doom and gloom for me, and I cannot describe how happy it makes me to know that she has to choke on those words. I had to scratch and claw my way into developing the business into something stable if not something that makes me wealthy. Like Mal says, I'm still flying. No it ain't much, but it's enough.
I wanted to start a blog for several reasons:
1.) I like to write, and I haven't had an outlet to do so for too damn long, and I need to do something to sharpen whatever verbal skills I still have,
2.) I think it will help me organize my thoughts and goals for the store, the remodeling of my apartment, my weight, and my life overall,
and 3.) I have been inspired by the lady in my life. She has a few blogs, and I get I kick out of reading her thoughts and words.
She is an absolute blessing. For the first time in a long time, I am in a relationship that has contributed positively in my life. She doesn't take, she gives. She doesn't nag, she offers suggestions. Most of the time she just is. What I mean by that is that she is just herself. She shares herself with me, and that gift of her is exactly what I needed.
She makes me laugh. She makes me happy. She makes me feel like a man. She makes me feel like all of the bad things that I have been through in the last several years actually had a purpose: preparing me to appreciate a good woman like her. She is fun, funny, adorable, and sexy. She is a good mom, a good friend, and most importantly, she is a good person. I look forward to seeing her or texting with her or talking to her on the phone with the same kind of happiness and excitement that I get from the store.
In her blog, she calls me Effin Guy for obvious effin reasons. A friend of mine has dubbed her Sanity because that is one of the gifts that she has brought to my life. However, in this blog, I will call her Awesome . . . for obvious effin reasons.
So, welcome to the first step in journey of my thoughts. You will hear much about the store because it dominates my time. You will hear much about Awesome, 'cause ya know. You will hear some complaints as well. I bitch. A lot. Not for the sake of bitching, but because I cannot stand to see something that doesn't work not get fixed.
Triple negative. Great way to end it!
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